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It is said that we live in the present, that the past is always gone, and that each day is the chance for something new. A stepping stone into a future we dream of even in the cold. For me that was the footbridge covered in snow, it was that wintery day, and seeing how the fallen snow had blanketed the earth around me in its own sheet of white as if to offer me a blank page.
Since my mother's suicide, I resisted showing up fully in any of my relationships for the first two years, as my trust in human connection was fragile. But Yosemite and the snow had shown me that it was ok to soften that resistance and allow myself to be held and comforted by others.
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Allie married Justin at the Palm Valley Golf Club, and we decided on a first look spot with palm trees and the mountains in the background. Allie wore a flower crown and the elegant wallflower, savored the moment as she walked up behind Justin. He turned and stood there, stunned, taking in her beauty. She lowered her bouquet to let him see her dress, and he started crying before wrapping her up in a big hug.
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Phil and Mackenzie are marrying at the Blaisdell in Minneapolis in a few short months, and I couldn't be more excited to hang out with them again soon. We had a blast at their engagement session and although I've known Mackenzie from our time together slinging coffee as barista's long ago I really enjoyed my chance to get to know Phil better and watch the two of them interact as a couple. We spent the afternoon for their engagement session roaming the adorable alleyways of their neighborhood in St. Paul that housed so much character and history, and it was the perfect start to what's shaping up to be a perfect wedding day.
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In the midwest where I’m from, when someone dies, we don’t send flowers and condolences; we send casseroles and small talk. We don’t like to feel uncomfortable with the discomfort of death. It’s unpalatable like those same “death” casseroles that had taken up space in my refrigerator. I assumed after my mother’s suicide that what the people around me wanted was for me to bypass the topic that sat between us all together and instead focus on bite-sized conversations that felt a bit more appetizing.
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Uncategorized, Life & Style, Photography, EducationRachel Smakrachel smak photographysuicide Prevention and Help, surviving suicide, Suicide Survivors and How They Coped, Suicide Bereavement, Self-care tips in suicide survivors' own words, suicide and the aftermath, surviving my mothers suicide, ptsd and suicide, ptsd in suicide survivors, advise for moving on after suicide, Mom's suicide, Our Side of Suicide, Depression is a common feeling after losing someone to suicide, confessions of a suicide survivor, the story of my mom's suicide, the 5 stages of grief after suicide, my mom's suicide, What does it feel like to have a parent commit suicide?, How I'm Surviving the Pain of My Mother's Death by Suicide, the five stages of grief after suicide, moving across the country after suicide, what My Mom's Suicide Taught Me, moving after suicide, Looking for answers after my mother's suicide, Living in the Shadow of Suicide, Looking for answers after my mom's suicide, What My Mother's Suicide Taught Me About Living Fully, mourning after suicide, mourning after suicide and heartbreak, grief, grief across the country, moving across the country and grief, Coping with grief and loss during the holidays, dealing with grief after suicide this holiday season, traveling through grief, grief isn’t journeyed through in a straight line, grief is not a straight line, unpacking grief, Revisiting my grief, the 5 stage of grief and moving to a new city, it's ok to not be ok and other things they don't tell you about grief, what nobody tells you about grief, grief is messy, We don’t like to feel uncomfortable with the discomfort of death., In the midwest where I’m from, when someone dies, we don’t send flowers and condolences; we send casseroles and small talk., “death” casseroles, How do you talk about grief?, How do you articulate or put words to an experience like suicide?, what grief was supposed to look like, I didn’t need to present my grief in such a way that other people could double tap through., Grief’s imprint taught me that life is precious and shor, Grief’s imprint taught me that life is precious and short, how you cope with grief, platform to talk about grief, The Inner Monologue, The Inner Monologue Podcast, My episode on The Inner Monologue, my episode on The Inner Monologue podcast, Thomas Brown and Sharon Stelluto, Thomas Brown, Thomas Brown The Inner Monologue Podcast, Sharon Stelluto, Sharon Stelluto Entelechy Visions, healing modalities, healing sessions, remote energy work, intuitive mentoring programs and readings, custom meditations, space cleaning, suicide, and mental health, R.I.S.E. 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like you & you want to plan something meaningful, intimate and maybe a little more adventurous and amazing, email me & let’s create something authentically you. I take on a limited number of weddings and elopements each year so that I can be invested and present for you & your story. You are uniquely you unlike anyone else, and I love that. Available for Wedding Photography in Arizona, Minnesota and Worldwide.
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