PersonalRachel SmakAcceptance they say is the last stage of the grieving process, advice for how to move on after loss, advice for moving across the country, advice for moving forward, advice for moving in, advice for moving on, advice for moving on after heatbreak, advice for moving on after sicide, advice for moving to a new city, advice for moving to a new state, advise for moving on after suicide, arizona boudoir photographer, arizona brand photographer, arizona commercial photographer, arizona copywriter, arizona editorial photographer, arizona editorial photography, arizona enagement photography, arizona engagement photographer, arizona engagement photos, arizona engagement session, arizona freelance copywriter, arizona freelance photographer, Arizona ghost writer, arizona lifestyle photographer, arizona photographer, arizona wedding photographer, arizona writer, Badgley Mischka, canon photographer, confessions of a suicide survivor, cross country road trip, dame traveler, 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My journey through those five stages of grief weren't stops on some linear timeline like my treck west to Phoenix. But those two thousand miles in between had taught me a lot. Bridging the border into Arizona, I remembered one of my favorite quotes the poet Jenna Cecelia penned, "Healing isn't taking the fast lane down the highway. Healing is taking the back roads with potholes and dead ends." Grinning as I remembered it, I knew for my healing that I was going to need to stay present and take my life off cruise control. If I was going to rewrite my ending, then it would start by putting in the work. I knew true healing and transcendence would only come when I finally faced my painful stories and wrestled with what they had to teach me.
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It is said that we live in the present, that the past is always gone, and that each day is the chance for something new. A stepping stone into a future we dream of even in the cold. For me that was the footbridge covered in snow, it was that wintery day, and seeing how the fallen snow had blanketed the earth around me in its own sheet of white as if to offer me a blank page.
Since my mother's suicide, I resisted showing up fully in any of my relationships for the first two years, as my trust in human connection was fragile. But Yosemite and the snow had shown me that it was ok to soften that resistance and allow myself to be held and comforted by others.
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Phil and Mackenzie are marrying at the Blaisdell in Minneapolis in a few short months, and I couldn't be more excited to hang out with them again soon. We had a blast at their engagement session and although I've known Mackenzie from our time together slinging coffee as barista's long ago I really enjoyed my chance to get to know Phil better and watch the two of them interact as a couple. We spent the afternoon for their engagement session roaming the adorable alleyways of their neighborhood in St. Paul that housed so much character and history, and it was the perfect start to what's shaping up to be a perfect wedding day.
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like you & you want to plan something meaningful, intimate and maybe a little more adventurous and amazing, email me & let’s create something authentically you. I take on a limited number of weddings and elopements each year so that I can be invested and present for you & your story. You are uniquely you unlike anyone else, and I love that. Available for Wedding Photography in Arizona, Minnesota and Worldwide.
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Boho Desert Engagement. I will never tire of deserts and a good golden sunrise. If you can't tell already, Keely and Allan are playful and we had a blast during the engagement session at The Lost Dutchman State Park in Mesa Arizona with the Superstition Mountains in the background.
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